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Fertility and Your Sex Life

Catherine McDiarmid-Watt | Wednesday, November 26, 2008 | 0 comments

Photo by Dominic Morel
Keeping the romance alive, Photo by Dominic MorelKeeping the romance alive

Although communication is very important while trying to conceive a baby, it doesn't exactly scream romance. A variety of factors, both physical and psychological, will impact the level of romance that your relationship has when trying to conceive. If you've been trying to conceive for a while, you may have lost a lot of the excitement that used to come with sex.

It is really important to think back to what sex was like before baby-making was on your mind. When did you do it? How often? At what time of the day? Think about how much you enjoyed those times and try to get yourself back there.

For some couples, sexual love becomes compromised in the process of making a family. In order to avoid this and continue to feel fireworks when you get under the sheets with your partner, don't constrain sex to the fertile stage of the woman's cycle. If you continuously have sex just for reproduction, you may begin to build an unhealthy association with sex as a mechanical chore, which can be stressful for couples trying to get pregnant.

Another common cycle that reproduction-focused couples fall into is going straight for the finale without spending time on foreplay. Remember when your relationship first began, before baby-making was on your mind, and you would spend so much time just exploring each other's bodies? Well, go back to that.

Include foreplay in your sexual regime in order to avoid letting sex become simply a means to an end. Enjoy the process and enjoy being close to one another by remembering that you used to have sex for pleasure.

In order to keep your sex life thriving, it is important to focus on pleasure. Just because the mission is to get the sperm to the egg doesn't mean the experience can't be orgasmic and pleasurable for both members of the partnership.

Avoid skipping everything that would usually come before intercourse and going straight for the finale. Although it may be tempting to "get it over with," this is not romantic and will not keep your partner begging for more.

One way to bring back the romance and to incorporate foreplay into your baby-making routine is to communicate with your partner. Let your partner know how you feel and what you want.

Make sure you don't forget about the time when sex was about making love to your partner and not just about making a baby. If you keep this in mind throughout the baby-making process and you try to get back to that place, you'll be much better off in keeping the passion alive in your relationship while trying to expand your family.

For more information on fertility clinics in your area, use our clinic locator.


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About Catherine: I am mom to three grown sons, two grandchildren and two rescue dogs. After years of raising my boys as a single mom, I remarried a wonderful man who had never had a child of his own. Unexpectedly, I found myself pregnant at 49!
Sadly we lost that precious baby at 8 weeks, and decided to try again. Five more losses, turned down for donor egg, foster care and adoption due to my age and losses - we have accepted that there will be no more babies in our house.

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