There is no stopping the biological clock, as the birth rate shows.
In 1999, there were 622,000 babies born in England and Wales.
The most productive group, surprisingly, was the women aged 30-34: they had 185,300 babies.
By the time women reached 40-44 years old, they produced 13,600 specimens, and at 45-plus, 635 gave birth.
In fact, nearly 300,000 women over 30 had babies, a cheering thought, until you think of the nappies.
But the figures leave much in the dark. How many 40-plus women are still trying, how many are still using contraceptives, how many are already infertile?
Looking back can cast some light. In 1938, the number of women having babies in the 30-34 age group was actually smaller than today, even though the birth rate was roughly the same.
Madonna and Cherie wouldn't have even made a paragraph then when 25,000 women in the 40-44 age group gave birth - almost double current levels - and 2,200 babies were born to women over 45. That's almost four times as many as now.
Clearly, choice, as well as biology, plays an important part - the really sharp decline in the birth rate for 35-plus women came in the 1970s, when it halved, coinciding with easier access to the Pill and abortion.
So, by when should you have your fertility tested? Unfortunately, exactly at what rate fertility declines is impossible to say. Nobody has measured the number of women trying to get pregnant at 40, say, and studied how successful they are.
To state, as one Sunday broadsheet report of the American campaign did, that the rate of conception drops to a mere 2% at 40 is very bleak and misleading.
No one can deny that you may have to wait longer to get pregnant once you are in your mid- to late-thirties, or that you may fail.
As someone who did have a baby at the drop of a hat at 40, and another, albeit after three miscarriages, at 46 years old, my advice is this: next time you see a shock-horror headline about older mothers, just turn the page.
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
| Grade A Baby Eggs |
by Victoria Hopewell
-- Victoria Hopewell was a forty-something divorced clinical psychologist when she met and married a longtime bachelor whose ninety-year-old parents were anxiously waiting for a grandchild.
The problem was, even though Victoria had two young daughters from a previous marriage, her intense desire to create a baby with her new husband was thwarted by her own body.
Her eggs were aging faster than her healthy hormones and youthful appearance would suppose.
Desperate to bear a child, willing to undergo every procedure from Lupron shots through egg harvesting and in vitro fertilization (IVF), she is blocked at every corner of medical protocol from achieving her dream of a successful pregnancy.
Finally, she journeys toward acceptance of using a donor egg, much to the dismay of her growing daughters.
But no eggs are available, and she is placed on a lengthy hospital wait-list. Victoria and her husband then embark on a surrealistic egg hunt to find their own donor.
Follow her insider's account of the hidden world of egg donation-where women's eggs are bought and sold over the internet and a beautiful model with high SATs and a prior successful donation commands the highest prices.
📚 Paperback: 214 pages
Click to order/for more info: Grade A Baby Eggs
📚 Start reading Grade A Baby Eggs on your Kindle in under a minute!
📚 Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
Women who began their families later in life share the rewards - and regrets - of delayed motherhood
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| Love, Mom and Me |
Valerie Hammond of Marquette Heights married early in life but chose not to have children. Her nieces and nephews were the kids in her life. But after a second marriage, she and her husband started trying. Her son was born two weeks before her 41st birthday.
Jennifer Hogsett's parents were 43 and 45 when she was born. She has strong feelings about having children later in life, but three years after she married her former husband at 29, they decided to start a family. At 37, she's now a single mother of a 4-year-old and 2-year-old in Dunlap.
Sherri Wright of Pekin had trouble adjusting to life as a parent after having two girls 15 months apart in her late 30s.
For me, it's a tougher adjustment because I had so many years of being able to go where I want and do what I want, and I didn't have to answer to anybody,she said.
These four Peoria-area women are among many today who, for a variety of reasons, are having children later in life.
Here are their stories.
Career came first
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| Between Mom and Me |
She met John Mahoney, a hand surgeon, at age 35. They married a year later and started trying to have children immediately. As doctors, they both knew the potential risks involved with having children past a certain age.
Those eggs weren't getting any younger,she said.
We felt like our best chance for (having a family) was right away.
Beyond age 35, pregnant women are considered of
advanced maternal ageand special precautions are taken, Mahoney said. The older the mother, the greater the chance for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome. The Mahoneys also knew getting pregnant could be more difficult.
But it happened quickly - with no miscarriages.
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| Baby Heaven Memorial Ornament |
We really didn't think we had the luxury of waiting three years,she said.
We're not going to have a third (child). We're thinking about adopting, and that's purely because of my age.
Both pregnancies were normal, although Jack came a month early. The Mahoneys chose not to have an amniocentesis to check for genetic defects. Instead, Abigail had a relatively new procedure called a nuchal ultrasound to check for any irregularities. The results wouldn't have changed the couple's decision to have the baby, Abigail said.
If you're not going to change your course, it's probably not necessary to do any of (the tests). But when it's happening to you, you want to know everything,she said.
We just feel so lucky to have had them right away. Everyone's healthy.
Today Jack is 2 and Graham is 1. Abigail, 39, works as a podiatrist in Peoria three days a week. She said the family's scenario is not unlike those of many of their friends and colleagues who also took time to establish careers before having children.
Sometimes they wonder if they would have had more energy in their 20s, Abigail said.
Their conclusion: Parenting is hard no matter what your age.
Second chance
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| Rainbow Baby Gifts |
Hammond had several miscarriages. After one in the spring of 2003, the couple decided to try naturally one more time. She did not want to use fertility drugs.
She became pregnant with Dalton, now 3, about two months later. The pregnancy was considered high-risk.
Being over 40, they panicked me all through my pregnancy,Hammond said.
I spent a lot of time there really nervous.
A little more than four months into the pregnancy, a test came back indicating the baby could have spina bifida, or incomplete closure of the spinal column. Hammond had sonograms every two weeks.
But Dalton was born - perfectly healthy - on Valentine's Day in 2004.
On a recent summer evening, the blond-haired, blue-eyed boy dashed from one activity to the next - keeping a balloon afloat, peering through his binoculars, putting on his bike helmet.
One thing about having a child this late in life, I know what a true blessing he is. I have much more patience than I would have had in my 20s, and I also realize that I don't have to kill myself to be super mom,Hammond wrote to the Journal Star.
If the floor doesn't get swept today because we are reading a book or finger painting, it will still be there tomorrow.
Between working full time, coaching girls' softball at EastSide Centre and caring for an energetic 3-year-old, the 44-year-old admits life is hectic.
I won't say they don't wear you out,she said.
But Hammond was ready for the challenge. She had freedom in her youth to do what she wanted - unlike classmates who had children right after high school and often leaned on their parents to help raise them. She also says she's more financially stable.
Hammond said she's run into several other mothers in her softball circle who had children later in life with a second husband, whether they had kids before or not.
I do think it's becoming more common,she said.
Is that your grandma?
 |
| Baby Loss Gifts |
She remembers how her parents wouldn't go on the rides with her at amusement parks - and the inquisitive questions from classmates.
In second or third grade, I can remember my father had come to school and (someone) said, 'Oh, is that your grandpa?' I was devastated. I was just so embarrassed,Hogsett said.
By her late 20s, Hogsett didn't think she'd ever marry and have children herself.
I just thought I was going to work, be independent, do my own thing,she said. Even after marriage, she and her now-ex-husband waited three years before they thought about having kids.
Initially, they planned to have one child. But after her son, now 4, was born when Hogsett was 32, she thought it might be nice for him to have a playmate close in age. Her daughter, now 2, came when Hogsett was just about to turn 35.
Because of her childhood experiences, Hogsett says she has strong feelings about having children later in life. She said she feels she's at the high end of what's ideal.
You have to do obviously what's right for you and your situation, but there has to be a happy medium where you're not young and immature, you have some knowledge of how the world works, but you're not so old that you won't be able to attend your child's graduation,she said.
I have (older) friends who don't have kids and I'm, like, 'Oh, I hope you aren't thinking about having them now.'
About a year after Hogsett's daughter was born, her marriage dissolved. Being a single 37-year-old mother comes with certain sacrifices, she says.
Her recent job choices, for example, have been based on the hours and location more than anything else.
It is a daily struggle to make ends meet with one income and two rapidly growing children,she wrote to the Journal Star.
There are days I wish I would have had them when I was younger so I would have more energy, but mostly I am grateful that I waited because I feel like I have more wisdom than if I would have had them in my early 20s.
Still, her parents weren't there to share in the lives of her young children. Her mother was 70 with Alzheimer's when she was pregnant. "She didn't go baby shopping with me," Hogsett said.
Tough adjustment
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| Memorial Jewelry |
I had my first child at age 37 and my second 15 months later. Sometimes I am glad I waited until I was older and my marriage was stable. Sometimes I wish I hadn't had them at all, that I was too old,she wrote to the Journal Star.
It gets frustrating being called 'grandma' or being older than (my children's) teachers.
Please don't get me wrong. I love my children and wouldn't want anything to happen to them,she said later.
But I think I would have been much happier had I not had any children.
I feel so guilty for being selfish,she said.
I feel really guilty that I'm not Carol Brady.
But Wright said she doesn't feel like she's the only one out there who might feel the same way.
Society says that once you're married, you're supposed to have kids. I felt like I was a woman, I was supposed to. Everybody said, 'Now you're married; you're supposed to have kids,'she said.
Wright and her husband went through three years of infertility treatments before she became pregnant. Once she started the treatments, she said it was hard to stop without success. The couple tried artificial insemination again for a second child when Wright's husband, who's in the military, learned he'd have to go to Iraq. Two weeks after she became pregnant, her husband found out he wasn't going overseas.
Wright was nearly 300 pounds when she gave birth to her second daughter. She later had gastric bypass surgery and is now able to do many of the things she couldn't earlier in life - but she also has new responsibilities.
At this point in my life, all my other friends, their kids are in high school and they don't have to find the baby sitters,said Wright, 41.
The women who have kids my age, they're in their 20s, so we have nothing in common.
But there is hope.
As my older daughter is getting older and we can do things together, it's getting a lot better. So hopefully as they get older we can bond more,she said.
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
| What I Thought I Knew: A Memoir |
by Alice Eve Cohen
--A personal and medical odyssey beyond anything most women would believe possible
At age forty-four, Alice Eve Cohen was happy for the first time in years.
After a difficult divorce, she was engaged to an inspiring man, joyfully raising her adopted daughter, and her career was blossoming. Alice tells her fiancé that she's never been happier. And then the stomach pains begin.
In her unflinchingly honest and ruefully witty voice, Alice nimbly carries us through her metamorphosis from a woman who has come to terms with infertility to one who struggles to love a heartbeat found in her womb - six months into a high-risk pregnancy.
What I Thought I Knew is a page-turner filled with vivid characters, humor, and many surprises and twists of fate.
With the suspense of a thriller and the intimacy of a diary, Cohen describes her unexpected journey through doubt, a broken medical system, and the hotly contested terrain of motherhood and family in today's society.
Timely and compelling, What I Thought I Knew will capture readers of memoirs such as Eat, Pray, Love; The Glass Castle; and A Three Dog Life.
📚 Paperback: 208 pages
Click to order/for more info: What I Thought I Knew: A Memoir
📚 Start reading What I Thought I Knew: A Memoir on your Kindle in under a minute!
📚 Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
Why are more and more women today opting to become mothers in their forties, and even as late as fifty?
What are the risks and what are the benefits?
Read on for some questions, some conceived in ignorance and others from semi-intelligent observation.
Psychologically speaking (through the eyes of a non-psychologist), there is always going to be someone who will tell the
older mothershe is crazy to consider having a baby later in life.
Ultimately, however, it is only the mother-to-be who has to make the choice and answer for it.
The desire to be a mother is no different at forty-five than at twenty-five.
And why shouldn't it be fulfilled, as long as the mother can provide for the child, and give it what it needs to grow up to be a responsible adult?
And so to those who ask why, you should say:
Because.
To those who ask how, you should reply:
the usual way.
And like the true color of one's hair and size of one's bank account, whose business and life is it anyway?
Source: Change of Life Babies: Do They Really?, by Marjorie Dorfman
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
| Inconceivable |
by Julia Indichova
-- A memoir of hope for the thousands of women struggling with infertility, from one who beat the odds by simply tuning in to her body and tapping her well of sheer determination.
At a time when more and more women are trying to get pregnant at increasingly advanced ages, fertility specialists and homeopathic researchers boast endless treatment options.
But when Julia Indichova made the rounds of medical doctors and nontraditional healers, she was still unable to conceive a child.
It was only when she forsook their financially and emotionally draining advice, turning inward instead, that she finally met with reproductive success. Inconceivable recounts this journey from hopeless diagnoses to elated motherhood.
Anyone who has faced infertility will relate to Julia's desperate measures: acupuncture, unidentifiable black-and-white pellets, herb soup, foul-smelling fruit, even making love on red sheets.
Five reproductive endocrinologists told her that there was no documented case of anyone in her hormonal condition getting pregnant, forcing her to finally embark on her own intuitive regimen.
After eight caffeine-free, nutrient-rich, yoga-laden months, complemented by visualization exercises, Julia received amazing news; incredibly, she was pregnant.
Nine months later she gave birth to a healthy girl.
📚 Paperback: 244 pages
Click to order/for more info: Inconceivable
📚 Start reading Inconceivable on your Kindle in under a minute!
📚 Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
In her early 40s, Deborah Walker still had hopes of becoming a mom.
Like many of her peers, she'd chosen to first focus on her career and then on children. The Hermitage, Tenn., woman had already suffered a pregnancy loss. But four days before moving from New York to Nashville to join her husband, she found herself pregnant.
At the age of 42, she gave birth to little Madeline.
You have a rich life tapestry to wrap around your child,says Walker, now 45.
I love that I'm an older mom. I wasn't ready before; I wasn't the person I wanted to be to be a mother. I am now.
This is the age of the older mom. But fertility favors the young, raising the question of, biologically, how old is too old to have a baby.
When a woman reaches her late 30s and her 40s, the possibility of conceiving naturally -- or conceiving at all -- is a door slowly swinging shut.
Plus, there are higher risks of pregnancy loss and genetic issues that accompany pregnancy at an older age.
Beyond that, there are ramifications to consider, such as simultaneously funding college tuition and retirement. But many women feel there are inherent rewards in waiting those extra years.
Many women in their 40s have had a chance to figure out who they are,says Dr. Cornelia Graves, medical director of Baptist Hospital's perinatal and obstetrics program in Nashville.
That's really important because when you're in your 20s, sometimes you have children because it's the expected thing to do. Whereas women in their 40s, this is what they've elected to do.
The risks of conceiving
Fertility drops off sharply in a woman's late 30s. But women can still conceive naturally up until around age 50, Graves says.
But biologically, the best time for having a baby is between the ages of 22 and 32, she says.
If you're trying to get pregnant in your late 30s or early 40s, the literature says you should try for a yearbefore seeking help, Graves says.
I say three to six months because your time is much more limited.
A woman's fertility is highest and the possibility of complications lower, earlier on. Women are born with a finite number of eggs. Not only do those eggs wane in number as a woman ages, but they've weathered more. When you're 40, your eggs are 40.
That's why the possibility of genetic irregularities such as Down syndrome, a chromosomal disorder, grows as a woman gets older.
Fertility starts to slide in a woman's 30s, says Dr. Gloria Richard-Davis, chairwoman of obstetrics and gynecology at Meharry Medical College in Nashville. By age 40, the decline becomes even more drastic.
For all those reasons, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine encourages women to have all their kids by age 37, she says.
Obviously, that's not realistic for many women and the type of lifestyle we have now,Richard-Davis adds.
Women are getting married later and having children later. It doesn't mean if you're over 40, you can't get pregnant, but the probability dramatically declines.
However, Hollywood has provided some recent examples of older moms.
Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry had her daughter in March at age 41. Nicole Kidman, who's 40 and married to country music singer Keith Urban, is expecting her first biological child in July. (Kidman has two adopted children with former husband Tom Cruise.)
Why women wait
Age-related infertility is increasingly more common. One in five women wait until they're older than 35 to start their families, reports the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.
ASRM attributes the trend to several factors: the availability of contraception and the high divorce rate, coupled with more women in the workforce, women marrying at an older age and married couples waiting to be financially secure before starting their families.
Add to this mix that many women simply just don't realize fertility begins to wane in their late 20s.
Then there are the added complications of raising a child at a later age.
Vikki Adkins of Mt. Juliet, Tenn., got married at age 33. She had her first child when she was 39 and her second at 41. Adkins considers herself a high-energy person, but keeping up with a 6-year-old girl and an 8-year-old boy can still be tough.
She worries about the future, funding her children's college educations and her own retirement. Not to mention adolescence and menopause will probably make concurrent appearances.
I am 48 now and lucky I have my children,Adkins says,
but I think it is harder than when you are in your 20s and early 30s.
Not that there aren't advantages, too, to have children later in life. Many moms feel their age is an asset, giving them patience they lacked before. Medical professionals also notice the difference.
I think you've kind of learned to roll with the punches of life, so you don't fixate on every little thing,says Baptist's Graves.
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
 |
Ten Ancient Chinese Secrets to Tap into a Woman's Creative Potential
by Randine Lewis
Being fertile and fruitful can mean giving birth to a child -- but to have a fertile soul means to give birth to the true self a woman wants to be: to live a life filled with passion, strength, joy, and adventure.
In The Way of the Fertile Soul, Dr. Randine Lewis outlines ten ancient Chinese medical and Taoist
secretsthat hold the little-known key to successfully conceiving babies, new dreams, and fulfilling life for women at any phase in their lives.
The Way of the Fertile Soul encourages women to strive toward health, abundance, and a fruitful, joyous approach to life.
By using diagnostic questionnaires, qigong exercises, and guided meditations to help the reader understand how the elements of nature express themselves in her body, mind, and spirit, The Way of the Fertile Soul provides the tools to greatly increase a woman's chance of conceiving, identify imbalances, reduce stress, increase energy, and uncover her intrinsic creativity and express it fully.
📚 Paperback: 240 pages
Click to order/for more info: The Way of the Fertile Soul
📚 Start reading The Way of the Fertile Soul on your Kindle in under a minute!
📚 Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
More and more people are delaying parenthood until they are in their forties or even older.
Women over 35 getting pregnant, are the fastest-growing demographic in our modern world.
With the increased prevalence of older parents, it seems there is also increased controversy, discussion and resources swirling around the “older parents” movement.
There is a bevy of information online for older parents - whether you are considering adoption or pregnancy and birth, are interested in how children of older parents do in comparison to those whose parents are younger, or just want to gather information.
A couple of the best resources listed is my Stories of Pregnancy blogs!
🤰🏻 Stories of Pregnancy and Birth Over 44 is a fun site with a collection of thousands of stories and articles about and by older mothers. This resource focuses on women who give birth to biological children after the mid-forties, not necessarily parents who have adopted.
🤰🏻 Pregnancy Stories By Age -- My goal is to simply share stories I find online, for inspiration - to those trying - and comfort to those who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant!... Sort of achicken soup for the TTCing over 44 soul!
More resources:
🤰🏻 While this site is in the United Kingdom, Mothers Over 40 is a positive and encouraging site with articles, resources and links relating to over forty parenting.🤰🏻 Hot Flashes, Warm Bottles is a book written by Nancy London, M.S.W. is a great, about-time book for moms who are older.
Adopting.org has a wealth of information for adoptive parents over the age of forty online. This site provides stories, articles and links to other resources for older parents.
🤰🏻 For a positive spin, the article
What are the Advantages of Having Children Later in Lifewritten by Jan Anderson. This article has a nice, first-hand approach and lots of encouragement and personal experience information.
🤰🏻 You Can Get Pregnant Over 40 says,
If you are over 40 and trying to conceive without success, or if you continually miscarry, you start to believe a successful pregnancy over 40 is impossible. I'm here to tell you that it was possible for me - naturally.
🤰🏻 Fertility Over 40 -- With over 12 years experience supporting women just like you. We know what works and what doesn't. Plus we give you the support and expertise of your own fertility coach! Join the thousands of other women who have achieved pregnancy over 40! Free membership to receive updates and free fertility tips.
🤰🏻 Age and Fertility (free booklet)
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
 |
by Greg Wolfe
-- The man's guide to anything and everything in the infertility universe.
Greg Wolfe went through four cycles of IVF on his rocky journey to fatherhood—and now, with profound sympathy and side-splitting humor, he lays it all out for guys on similar baby-making quests.
How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup is not your typical nuts and bolts (no pun intended) medical guide but a helpful handbook designed specifically with the male partner in mind, with answers to his most pressing questions about the infertility process...
📚 Paperback: 256 pages
Click to order/for more info: How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup
📚 Start reading How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup on your Kindle in under a minute!
📚 Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
 |
"In 2009, there were 105,827 live births in the United States to women ages 40 through 44 -- 7,320 live births to women 45 to 49 -- 569 live births to women 50-54.
In 2009, there were only 783 live births to women over 43, using donor eggs.""
Checking the 2018 birth stats today at the CDC and I found:
Age of mother
Women in their 40s -- The birth rate for women aged 40–44 was 11.8 births per 1,000 women in 2018, up 2% from 2017; the rate for this group has risen almost continuously since 1985. The number of births to women in their early 40s rose 2% from 2017 to 2018.Women aged 45-49 -- The birth rate for women aged 45–49 (which includes births to women aged 50 and over) was 0.9 births per 1,000 women in 2018, unchanged from 2017. The number of births to women aged 45 and over was also unchanged from 2017 to 2018.
Women aged 50 and over -- There were 959 births to women aged 50 and over in 2018, up from 840 in 2017. The number of births to women in this age group has generally increased since 1997 (from 144 births), when data for women aged 50 and over became available again. The birth rate for women aged 50–54 rose to 0.9 births per 10,000 women in 2018, from 0.8 in 2017.
TOTAL (40-54) : 126,956 live births
NOTE: In this report, tables labeled 45-49 years, 45-54 years, and 50-54 years include births to mothers up to age 64.
Next I went to SART, who has the 2017 IVF and Donor Egg rates in the US:
Fresh Embryos From Non-Donor Oocytes
Number of cycles : (41-42) 12,258 (over 42) 8,652
Percentage of cycles resulting in live births : (41-42) 12.8 (over 42) 4.4
Total live births : (41-42) 1,569 (over 42) 381
TOTAL (over 40) : 1,950
Donor Oocytes (all ages)
Number of transfers : (Fresh Donor Eggs) 3,146 (Frozen Donor Eggs) 3,013 (Donated Embryos) 1,697 (Thawed Embryos) 12,481
Percentage of transfers resulting in live births : (Fresh) 49.2 (Frozen) 43.1 (Donated Embryos) 42.8 (Thawed Embryos) 46.2
Total Live Births : (Fresh) 1,548 (Frozen) 1,298 (Donated Embryos) 726 (Thawed Embryos) 5,766
TOTAL births by Donor Egg/Embryos (all ages) : 9,338
Source: www.Sartcorsonline.com
 |
| Picture credit: CDC.gov |
How did the types of ART cycles used in the United States differ among women of different ages?
Figure 4 shows that, in 2017, the percentage of ART cycles in which a woman used her own eggs declined with age, while the percentage of ART cycles using a donor egg increased with age. The vast majority (96%) of women younger than age 35 used their own eggs (nondonor), and about 4% used donor eggs. In contrast, 35% of women aged 43–44 and 68% of women older than age 44 used donor eggs.
Was the use of donor eggs or embryos higher among older women undergoing ART?
The percentage of cycles performed with donor eggs increased sharply after age 40. Among women older than age 48, for example, approximately 86% of all ART cycles used donor eggs. Eggs produced by women in older age groups form embryos that are less likely to implant and more likely to result in miscarriage if they do implant.
Number of live-birth deliveries to women using Donor Egg older than 44 in 2017: 654
Source: CDC.gov/art
So the updated quote will become:
"In 2018, there were 126,956 live births in the United States to women ages 40 through 54 -- 959 of those live births to women 50-54.
In 2017, there were only 654 live births to women over 43, using donor eggs."
 |
| Photo by www.cnn.com |
Pamela Madsens says it took teams of doctors, drugs, and fertility treatments before she could conceive each of her two sons, but she has a few easy tips she believes may help other infertile couples.
Her advice includes pointers on how to speed up a referral to a fertility clinic, how to pick the right doctor, and tips on getting the support you need from your spouse.
Story Highlights
• Expert: 40 percent of infertility is due to something wrong with the man
• Meeting a
cycle buddyat a clinic or online can be helpful
• Women under 35 should try for a year before proceeding with fertility treatments
• Women over 35 should wait no longer than six months before getting help
Read more: How to have a baby when it's not so simple
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Ready: Why Women Are Embracing The New Later Motherhood by Elizabeth Gregory
-- Over the past three decades, skyrocketing numbers of women have chosen to start their families in their late thirties and early forties.
In 2005, ten times as many women had their first child between the ages of 35 and 39 as in 1975, and thirteen times as many had their first between 40 and 44.
Women now have the option to define for themselves when they're ready for a family, rather than sticking to a schedule set by social convention.
As a society, however, we have yet to come to terms with the phenomenon of later motherhood, and women who decide it makes sense for them to delay pregnancy often find themselves confronted with alarmist warnings about the dangers of waiting too long.
In Ready, Elizabeth Gregory tracks the burgeoning trend of new later motherhood and demonstrates for many women today, waiting for family works best.
She provides compelling evidence of the benefits of having children later -- by birth or by adoption.
Paperback: 336 pagesClick to order/for more info: Ready
Start reading Ready on your Kindle in under a minute!Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
January 2008 -- Geena Davis did it. So did Emma Thompson and Susan Sarandon.Now, Nicole Kidman is joining the swelling ranks of women who have their first baby after the age of 40.
Only a century ago the average life expectancy for women was about 50, so a 35-year-old would have been an ageing matriarch with grandchildren in tow.
But now one in seven babies in Australia is born to a woman older than that as thousands hit the snooze button on parenting.
Maturity can bring a satisfying career, a healthy bank balance and a well-rounded sense of self, but women who become pregnant later in life also have a much greater risk of miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, and stillbirths.
Older women are also more likely to have induced labour, epidural anaesthesia, forceps or vacuum deliveries, and caesarean sections. They have a one in 100 chance of having a child with chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome.
A fertility specialist with IVF Australia, Michael Chapman, said yesterday that women aged 40 to 45 had a one in four chance of miscarrying.
Age and the miscarriage rate are linked because the older a woman gets, the older her eggs get. They become more fragile with age and have abnormalities, which can lead to miscarriage or disorders such as Down syndrome.
He said pregnant women in their 30s and 40s had a greater risk of hypertension and gestational diabetes, which often required intervention during labour.
One study showed first-time mothers older than 40 were 14 times more likely to have a caesarean than those under 30.
Most obstetricians encourage older women to have a caesarean section because their muscles are weaker and their tissues are less elastic,Dr Chapman said.
But the secretary of the NSW Midwives Association, Hannah Dahlen, said yesterday, women should not be deterred.
Older mothers are more likely to be educated and financially secure, more settled in themselves and more prepared to make the sacrifices required to be a mother,she said.
They are better able to negotiate care for their child, their children often do better in school, and it has also been shown in some studies women who have babies in their 40s live longer.
Read more: The risks - and rewards - when motherhood begins at 40
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
It Starts with the Egg:How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF
by Rebecca Fett
-- Whether you are trying to conceive naturally or through IVF, the quality of your eggs will have a powerful impact on how long it takes you to get pregnant and whether you face an increased risk of miscarriage.
Poor egg quality is emerging as the single most important cause of age-related infertility, recurrent miscarriage, and failed IVF cycles. It is also a major contributor to infertility in PCOS.
Based on a comprehensive investigation of a vast array of scientific research, It Starts with the Egg reveals a groundbreaking new approach for improving egg quality and fertility.
With a concrete strategy including minimizing exposure to toxins such as BPA and phthalates, choosing the right vitamins and supplements to safeguard developing eggs, and harnessing nutritional advice shown to boost IVF success rates, this book offers practical solutions to will help you get pregnant faster and deliver a healthy baby.
Paperback: 304 pagesClick to order/for more info: It Starts with the Egg
Start reading It Starts with the Egg on your Kindle in under a minute!Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
Some older mothers call it midnight math– the calculations they make while tossing and turning in the dark, figuring out how old they will be when their kids go on first dates, graduate from college or have their own children.
Julie Morris says while her pregnancy at 41 was a blessing, it also came as a shock.
Fisher was 71 and retired, with two grown sons from a previous marriage.
The double standard surrounding older parenthood was quickly apparent:
Everybody congratulated Jim for being such a great old guy and looked at me like, 'How did you let this happen?'
Read more: The costs of older motherhood
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Pregnancy After 40: 40 Things No One Told You About Being Pregnant Over 40 (Pregnancy Plan Series)by Jill Conrad, Pregnancy Support Institute
-- So you're over 40 and you've decided to get pregnant. You are not alone.
A growing number of women are waiting to have a baby until they are over 40.
This book will reveal:
♥ How you can have a healthy baby in your forties (in spite of all the warnings).
♥ What the biggest risks are and what you can do about them (it may not be as bad as you think)
♥ The 3 most important things you can do to have a healthy baby after 40 (you might already be doing some of them)
♥ Why older mothers often make better parents (the surprising reason)
♥ The one thing you should do every night to keep you fertile and able to conceive naturally (it takes 5 minutes)
…and Much More!
So get started and discover how to have the safest pregnancy and the healthiest baby when you are over 40 and pregnant.
Start reading Pregnancy After 40 on your Kindle in under a minute!Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
 |
| Baby, by Saša Marani |
People don't have to choose one life,she says.
In the past, everybody had to have their kids when they were 21, and they had to have them with whoever was there. Now people have more options.
Gregory, director of the women's studies program at the University of Houston, turned a study of those options into a book, Ready: Why Women Are Embracing the New Later Motherhood. She interviewed more than 100 women who waited until age 35 or later to have their first child. (She also included a few who had their first child at 34.)
Most of Gregory's subjects were affluent, and most were married, although the study also includes single mothers and lesbian couples. Some had children the old-fashioned way, while others relied upon high-tech fertility medicine or adoption.
The book is a positive portrayal of waiting, which Gregory says reflects a historic shift: One of every 12 babies born to first-time mothers in 2006 was born to a woman 35 or older. In 1970, the figure was one in 100.
Gregory, 50, says she didn't intend her book specifically to counteract economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett's controversial 2002 book Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children, which focused on the decline in women's fertility beginning in their late 20's and caused an uproar with its implication women who wait until they are 35, 40 or older risk ending up without a baby.
But Hewlett's book didn't reflect the experience of Gregory or many women she knew. Gregory gave birth to her oldest daughter, Anna Peters, when she was 39. She and her husband later adopted a second daughter, Sophie.
Gregory talked with the Chronicle's Jeannie Kever about her research and what it all means.
Q: When did this trend of older first-time motherhood start? Tell me a little about what's behind it.
A: There are two basic components. One of those is the birth-control pill, which was introduced in 1960. There had been birth control before, but this was the first widely available, reliable birth control, which meant changes in women's fertility choices almost immediately. In the mid-'70s, you started seeing an upswing in this trend, people starting their families later. It's grown steadily ever since then.
The other thing is people are living longer. You couldn't plan to start your family at 40 if, as in 1900, the average life expectancy was 47.
The world of business hasn't traditionally been family-friendly because it didn't have to be, but (this is changing) as women ... decided they would delay children until they got to a position where they could negotiate more of a family-friendly experience for themselves.
The average age of (a woman's) first birth in 1970 was 21. In 2006, it was 25.2. For college-educated women, it's 30. There's clearly been a decision by many people who, given the option, they want to sequence their lives differently than was possible in the past.
Q: Do you expect the trend to continue with women who are in their 20s or younger now?
A: Now there are increasing numbers of women in positions to make policy, we will see whether they make changes or influence those around them to change the discussion of how we look at family-friendly (workplace) policies ... to a bigger vision which says we see family-building as a contribution to the commonwealth and we want to make it possible to do both.
Now younger people say,
We don't want to live the lives our parents had, where they were working all the time.
Q: How are 40-something first-time moms different from younger first-time moms?
A: People told me being ready (to have a child) was vital. Other people may feel ready earlier.
They had certain benefits: They were more financially stable. They had the self-confidence which comes with having accomplished things in the world. There was a higher frequency of marriage (for women who waited to have children), and this has an effect ... if there's someone there to share the work. There's a much higher frequency of
peer marriage,a higher level of women married to people with similar education and wages and a sense they were both sharing the family tasks.
A lot of the women said they had seen their mothers stuck in marriages they couldn't leave because they didn't have the earning capacity to raise their kids if they left, and it was important to (the women she interviewed) to be in a position where they could leave if they wanted to.
They felt more ready to focus on family. ...
Q: What are some of the ramifications of older motherhood?
A: One is women are getting to contribute in ways they never have before. They are getting to develop their skills and passions outside the field of motherhood in real ways for the first time.
Maybe we'll find ways to allow women to contribute without delaying (motherhood), but I think there's a huge positive in the personal development of the women, but also the nation benefits in having this huge infusion into the talent pool.
Q: You acknowledge fertility does decline for older women. Are there other drawbacks to waiting?
A: There's the lack of grandparent access. The older you are when you have your kids, the older your parents are when they become grandparents. ... They may be in need of care. The parents may be more involved in caring for the grandparents at the same time they're caring for kids.
In terms of their own planning, the (later) parents didn't want their children to have to be caring for them when the children were in their 20's. They were trying to be very alert about staying healthy and also putting away money for long-term care.
• More information: Readymoms.com
Source: Big benefits seen in motherhood later in life
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Ready: Why Women Are Embracing The New Later Motherhood by Elizabeth Gregory
-- Over the past three decades, skyrocketing numbers of women have chosen to start their families in their late thirties and early forties.
In 2005, ten times as many women had their first child between the ages of 35 and 39 as in 1975, and thirteen times as many had their first between 40 and 44.
Women now have the option to define for themselves when they're ready for a family, rather than sticking to a schedule set by social convention.
As a society, however, we have yet to come to terms with the phenomenon of later motherhood, and women who decide it makes sense for them to delay pregnancy often find themselves confronted with alarmist warnings about the dangers of waiting too long.
In Ready, Elizabeth Gregory tracks the burgeoning trend of new later motherhood and demonstrates for many women today, waiting for family works best.
She provides compelling evidence of the benefits of having children later -- by birth or by adoption.
Paperback: 336 pagesClick to order/for more info: Ready
Start reading Ready on your Kindle in under a minute! Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
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