As a woman who had her first child at age 42 and a second child at age 44, I have come to the realization to remain upbeat and positive, there are three things an expectant first time mom over 40, and women who are considering motherhood over 35, should avoid.
The three things to avoid are:
1 - Message Boards that ask the how old is too old to have a baby. Even now that I have two healthy (thank God) children, ages two and four years old, my spirits can be brought down by reading the postings on many message boards.
Myths on the boards are accepted as truth such as babies born to first time moms over 35 will be unhealthy or have a major birth defect. This is so far from the truth, I wrote You Can Have A Healthy Pregnancy Over 35.
Another popular myth that gets a lot of agreement is children of older parents will resent or be ashamed their parents are not the same age as the parents of their friends. Usually the adult child of an older parent expresses how ashamed she was as a teenager of her parents’ age.
By the time I’ve completed reading the posting of
Miss So-Ashamed I want to say to her,
girlfriend, you need a taste of reality. Were you the only one of your friends who was ashamed of her parents?
For every teenager who is ashamed of his older parents, I’ll show you another who is ashamed of his younger parents for other reasons.
A teenager may be ashamed because his thirty-something year old dad is not as good in athletics as his classmate’s dad. Or a teenager may be ashamed his dad drives a car from prehistoric times, while his classmate’s dad drives a car from the future.
A fourteen year old teenage girl may be ashamed because her mom is not as slim and as pretty as her best friend’s mom. Or she may be ashamed her mom wore old-fashioned shoes to Parents Day.
2 - Television and radio shows that ask the how old is too old to have a baby. As if it is not bad enough to read the postings of people who believe you shouldn’t have a baby a day after your 25th birthday, the television and radio shows bring you voices and faces of people who believe this.
I remember watching a popular talk show comparing the decision of a mom over 40 to have a baby, with the decision of a child under 16 to have a baby. I felt sorry for the older mom who didn’t stand a chance defending her decision against the obvious disapproval of the savvy television host.
3 - People who seem to have THE answer to how old is too old to have a baby. Yes, I have an age limit in the back of my mind I believe is too old to have a baby. However, because I believe only God can decide how old is too old to have a baby, and He hasn’t revealed the answer to me, I leave room for my age limit to be wrong.
If you are an expectant mom over 40, or a woman over 35 considering motherhood, remember to eat healthy and listen to the advice of your doctor. And if you want to remain emotionally upbeat, please heed my advice.
Guest Article by Cynthia Wilson James of InSeasonMom.org
Copyright 2006 Cjuliet Publishing
Stock Photo credit: Robert Glenn Miller, by Doug Miller /Sensual Shadows Photography, on Flickr
Some rights reserved
TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
The Baby Business: How Money, Science, and Politics Drive the Commerce of Conception
by Debora L. Spar
-- Despite legislation that claims to prohibit it, there is a thriving market for babies spreading across the globe.
Fueled by rapid advances in reproductive medicine and the desperate desires of millions of would-be parents, the acquisition of children—whether through donated eggs, rented wombs, or cross-border adoption — has become a multi-billion dollar industry that has left science, law, ethics, and commerce deeply at odds.
In The Baby Business, Debora Spar argues that it is time to acknowledge the commercial truth about reproduction and to establish a standard that governs its transactions.
In this fascinating behind-the-scenes account, she combines pioneering research and interviews with the industry’s top reproductive scientists and trailblazers to provide a first glimpse at how the industry works: who the baby-makers are, who makes money, how prices are set, and what defines the clientele.
Fascinating stories illustrate the inner workings of market segments--including stem cell research, surrogacy, egg swapping, "designer babies," adoption, and human cloning -- as Spar explores the moral and legal challenges that industry players must address.
The first purely commercial look at an industry that deals in humanity’s most intimate issues, this book challenges us to consider the financial promise and ethical perils we’ll face as the baby business moves inevitably forward.
Hardcover: 302 pages
Click to order/for more info: The Baby Business
Find it on Amazon: US | Canada | UK
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More "Pregnancy Over 40" blogs to visit:
• Life Begins... - Pregnancy stories of loss, hope and help
• Pregnancy Stories by Age - Daily blog of hope and inspiration!
• You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's - Sharing articles, discussing options and suggestions
• Stories of Pregnancy and Birth over 44 - sharing news stories I find online, for inspiration!