Tip#1 - Sleep together naked.
• helps to keep his testicles cool, improving his sperm count.
• this is the way nature intended for us to bond.
• for most men, virtually anything done in the nude with one's wife is at least somewhat sexual.
• nudity is (or is supposed to be) something we only do with our spouse. Naked activities therefore create a sense of bonding by setting them apart from clothed activities we do with others.
• if the goal is skin contact, then the more skin available, the more contact we can have.
Sleeping: Sleeping together is, in our minds, extremely important. Part of sleeping together is falling asleep together and waking up together. It's not just about being in the same place; bedtime small talk and half asleep hugs can create a deep sense of closeness.
Lori and I feel so strongly about sleeping together that when I worked nights I went to bed with her and lay with her until she fell asleep. When I went to bed, she was always there too. Of course this fell short of what's best, which is to spend the whole night in the same bed.
Recent research on pheromones (we call them "airborne hormones") suggests that prolonged exposure to each other's pheromones has profound affects on us. While the details aren't in, it seems likely that the pheromones we get while sleeping together actually make us feel closer, more secure, and more loved; they may even contribute to better physical and mental health!
Sleeping in the nude seems to violate some unwritten rule in America. It may be good for the folks who make pajamas, but why do we "dress" for bed? Not that we are opposed to lingerie, but we see that as something which is put on to be taken off. If we can't be "naked and unashamed" in bed with our own spouse something is wrong.
MEN: Realize that your wife needs non-sexual touch in order to be physically and emotionally healthy. A lack of touch makes it impossible for her to desire or enjoy sex; she might say yes, and she might climax, but she will not truly enjoy it. Her negative responses in these cases are not manipulation, rather you are seeing the result of the way the lack of touch and intimacy affects her brain.
Photo credit: Time together, by Desi / the Italian voice, on Flickr
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More "Pregnancy Over 40" blogs to visit:
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• You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's - Sharing articles, discussing options and suggestions
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