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Outsourcing offspring

Catherine McDiarmid-Watt | Thursday, December 27, 2007 | 2 comments

In a few weeks, Yonatan and Omer Gar are scheduled to go to Mumbai, India, in order to take part in the first fertilization attempt of a surrogate mother who will bear their child. Yonatan, 29, who works in Greenpeace and Omer, 30, who works as a psychologist, signed a partnership agreement about a year ago. In the past few months, they completed procedures to locate a surrogate mother and an egg donor in India, with whose aid they will bring their firstborn child into the world.

"We've been together for over five years. About a year ago, we decided that we wanted to expand the family and began examining our options. As fate would have it, neither of us has a womb. We would really like to adopt a child in Israel. The fact that this legal option does not exist in Israel is shocking. The state prefers that children grow up in a hostel or on the street, as long as they don't grow up with same-sex parents."

Omer and Yonatan cannot turn to a surrogate mother in Israel because they are not a legally married heterosexual couple, as the Surrogate Law demands. The idea of finding a surrogate in India of all places came from friends, who are also trying to have a child with the same method. "This is a relatively new option, a result of legislative changes in India," explained Yonatan. "Today there are about 10 Israeli couples in the process of adopting a child through a surrogate in India." He says that "the big advantage of the method is that one of us is the biological parent of the child, and this is actually not a full adoption."

The couple made contact with the fertility clinic in India, which sent them profiles of potential egg donors. At the same time, they published a notice in the paper to find a surrogate. They decided to work with an Indian donor because then the egg used for fertilization will not have been frozen (as in the Western donor egg banks), increasing the chances of its being implanted in the uterus of the surrogate. According to Yonatan, "The price of the present fertilization attempt is between $25,000-$30,000. The major variable is the number of attempts we will need until the fetus is implanted."

"Our parents are very excited about the procedure," he added. "Parents who hear that their children are homosexuals or lesbians have an automatic tendency to give up the dream of having grandchildren. But as time passes, this definitely does not have to be the basic assumption. More and more same-sex couples have become parents of late."


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About Catherine: I am mom to three grown sons, two grandchildren and two rescue dogs. After years of raising my boys as a single mom, I remarried a wonderful man who had never had a child of his own. Unexpectedly, I found myself pregnant at 49!
Sadly we lost that precious baby at 8 weeks, and decided to try again. Five more losses, turned down for donor egg, foster care and adoption due to my age and losses - we have accepted that there will be no more babies in our house.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    I wish you best of luck.

  2. Anonymous says:

    All things come to those who wait.


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